9-20-2002

i haven't written in here for so long.. just been busy with college and all that other stuff.  well, let's see... finally got my license, so my car is actually being put to good use... and also is actually breaking down on me every other weekend.. hehe.  AND... i finally got contacts!  yay!  now i actually look my pictures.. sorta.  people keep telling me that i'm going annorexic.. don't know what they're talking about.. they're just getting fatter, that's all.  these poor michiganders.. lol.  hehe.. seriously man.. they don't see me eat.  how dare they!  it's an insult... 

anyway.. university life.. what can i say?  it's not a big deal.. or maybe i just don't think so cuz i'm still at home.  my dad still regulates my life.. i still report home at 7 o'clock.. well, actually, he bought a cell phone for me, so now he can "let me go".. which really means keeping me on a leash that's just a tad longer.  but.. hey, i get free food, free rent, free... something?   hehe.. i'm trying to console myself here.. there's gotta be more advantages..  oh.. i know!  i can exchange clothes with my sister.. yeah!!!  got 3 good reasons.. lol.  anyway.. i'm just sorta being stupid right now.. gotta fill up some space, you know?  well.. gonna go catch some zzzzz's..

11-5-2002

haven't worked on this site for such a long time.. never thought that college stuff would rip me away from me and my very best friend - my computer.  *sniff sniff*  hehe.. well.. let's see.. i've stopped with all that optimistic stuff.. no more pretending to see the happiness of today's perfect world.. i don't even know what i was talking about in my previous posting.  I HATE STAYING AT HOME.. i also hate my piece of crap car.... hehe.. my car is a '93 ford tempo (a two-door) that has those seatbelts that automatically go up when you close the door, or at least they're supposed to... instead they sound like a motor going up the side, and i have to actually force it to move or else it goes "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..." *close door* "RRRRRRRRR"... hehe.. it keeps going until 5 minutes after you close the car door.  

hmm.. now let's see.. i also hate driving cuz this is michigan and there are some crazy, old, blind people on the road, not to mention that there is nowhere to drive to... i hate walking across campus cuz my legs are so short and i'm always late.... hate the snow falling down right now cuz it's gonna turn to slush, then ice, and it's a guarantee that i'm gonna slip and fall on my arse.. and... i hate that i hate everything.  BUT.. to look on the bright side, i do love coffee.. my driving force until the caffeine buzz is gone and i feel like crap.. but i always get another cup.  hmm... you know what i really hate?  i hate that i'm typing all this out cuz i can't find anyone to talk to...

11-14-2002

i think i'm going through my artistic stage again.. i've been making up songs on my guitar, which is sorta idiotic because i can't sing.. and yeah.  hehe.. that's the only indication.  i only get artsy when life gets weird.. like when i almost wasn't able to graduate, i became artsy, and also when i thought i wouldn't be able to go to college this semester.  i wrote all these songs and now i don't even know how i came up with them.  ah well.. anyway.. my friend told me that my gr. 6 teacher died last week wednesday.. i was in shock.. i mean, he was perfectly fine the last time i saw him.. 7 years ago.  geez.. have i been alive that long?  things that happened in gr. 6 are still extremely vivid in my mind.. like me getting into a fight with chris tomby, this guy that stole my pens and put them in the heater in the library because i made fun of him for something.. i remember my teacher performing this scene in which he was God breathing life into adam.. i remember staring at this guy roberto because he was sucking on the string of his drawstring pants during class.... for mr. dixon, my teacher, to have died just makes everything so surreal.  and, it makes me wonder.. when i die, will people remember good thoughts about me or the events involving me, or will they just remember me as some blunt, coldhearted midget that knows too many big words?  honestly, i don't really know.. the question is, does it really matter?  hmm..