Jimmy's Log
24 March 2023 to
24 March 2023
De Vries called a meeting today. She said that we're all a (quote) "bunch of worthless celldumps that aren't good enough to guard a hot dog" (end quote). I think she's angry about that break-in by the weird plastic-suited lady. Randy got mad (again) and told her that she should try guarding a skyscraper with a (quote) "crapass pistol wannabe" (end quote). Nobody's seen Randy for 4 hours now.
27 March 2023
That freaky blonde guy approached me today. He told me that I'm being transferred to the G5 building. He gave me a "skill pill" and made me swallow it. Now my stomach's upset.
28 March 2023
Weird plastic suited lady broke into G5 building. Was in bathroom when alarm sounded. Feared for life. Hid in bathroom until it was quiet. De Vries mad. Ugly, too. I hate her. Going to turn in two week's notice tomorrow.
29 March 2023
Lady wouldn't let me quit. I think that's illegal. Used crazy pseudo-logic to convince me to stay. I got confused. She gave me a new crapass pistol wannabe gun. I felt special.
Note to self: look for Randy tomorrow.
2 April 2023
Took lunch break today. Ran away when no one was looking. Hate lady. Hitching ride to New York. Going to start prostitution ring. Make money. Buy company. Kill lady.
Jimmy will show her.
5 April 2023
Found Randy's body. Lady killed. More hate. Jimmy gonna buy new gun. Good gun. Love New York.
11 April 2023
Jimmy bought a Farsight. Shot cat on fence through three walls. Fun. Went back to Randy's body. Looted. Found weird cigarette. Smoked. Happy. Jimmy is new God.
13 April 2023
Got good start on prostitution ring. Happy. Told her that Jimmy is new God. She said, "Whateva you say, suga." Jimmy killed her with Farsight. Because Jimmy is new God.
14 Aptember 297zx
Jimmy doesn't like current date method. As new God, Jimmy changes every day to 14 Aptember 297zx. Any who oppose Jimmy get shot like cat and dirty woman. Must find more weird cigarettes.
14 Aptember 297zx
Jimmy decided that Farsight reloads too slow. Traded for SuperDragon. Shot cat through wall. Cat lived. Wall has holes in it. Went out and strangled cat. Cats all over will learn who their new God is. Jimmy is new God.
14 Aptember 297zx
Went up to church bell tower. Shot at pedestrians. One gave Jimmy the bird. Jimmy smote him good. Jimmy is new God.
14 Aptember 297zx
Going to Washington. Making public announcement about people's new God. Jimmy is new God.
If no more entries, assume that Jimmy was successful and will start new log. God Log.
Concept by Sean