Come one, come all, to the show that the New York Globe is raving about! Straight from good ol' Virginny comes a freak show extraordinaire! Yes, it's the AOL Loser Thing of the Day! Notice the seemingly glowing numbers caused by crappy JPEG compression settings! Sure to not become a daily feature!
(cough) Anyway, this is possibly the stupidest thing I've seen as of yet on AOL, so I thought I'd poke some fun at it.
- If you love someone, why would you be, uh, "setting them free"? When I set someone free, it means that I never want to see them again.
- You can't just click them once, you have to click them again and again. My theory is that every click drops a banana to one of the AOL Monkeys.
- Can a form letter really express "true feelings"?
- Because every knows that the only e-mail addresses (4.1) are AOL screen names (4).
- I just picked that at random, but I bet there's someone that actually has that screen name.
- I think the AOL Monkeys are really hungry. Subtle and hungry.
- "Hello, Goodbye." Either the sender is supposed to have a really short attention span, or the AOL Monkey that wrote this has a really biting wit.
- This part originally written circa the Clueless era.
- *Note: From now on, I'll refer to the sender in second person.* You've just now started having doubts? I would have had doubts as soon as I saw this person's screen name.
- I just thought I'd point out that "I don't want to talk to you anymore because" is the entire second line...
- ...Which makes "I don't enjoy insect-collecting" the entire third line. And if I've seen a solid reason to break up, this is it.
- Buddhist monk, eh? What if the person writing this... thing... is a girl? Girls can't be monks. And by the way, you're saying that all Buddhists are monks. Racial profiling. Lawsuit.
- "Have a nice life. I'm just saying that, though, because I actually hate insect collecting. And I'm gonna be a monk, which means that you're going to hell."
- "I want a girl, but not with you, because you mate with insects."
- Ah, of course, Keyword: Love. And by love, we mean hate. Coincidentally, Keyword: Love doesn't actually go to this thing, thankfully. But the thing that does pop up proudly proclaims to be "The #1 Romance site online!" Now, this is AOL, which makes it not a site period. Romance is unnecessarily capitalized, and I could find a better "Romance" "site" in my can of slothguard if I wanted to.
Of course, I didn't even touch on the fact that sending a form letter to break up is about the lowest thing you could possibly do, even if you were a Buddhist monk. Nor did I examine the fact that you cannot in any way, shape, or form edit this yourself, save clicking again and again.