Adventures In English
One day, Eric M.--wait, let's call him E. Minner--hmm... Well, anyway, Eric and his classmates were listening to their teacher drone on about something-or-other:
(It's a small English class in StarCraft-land because English isn't anybody's native language.)
Suddenly, one of Eric's classmates, who would remain nameless if I didn't call him Ian, heard his scanner beep. He had set it to look for unusual things because he was bored. He looked at the display:
Ms. Teacher saw him. She asked what the problem was, and he explained:
Ms. Teacher immediately fell into the old English teacher standby:
Eric was really bored now. And he was mad. (He's Eric, he doesn't need a reason.) He whipped out his handy-dandy automatic rifle, donned his marine-gear (which had been carefully stored in his backpack for just such an emergency) and wreaked some havoc:
And then the students were free. And all was good.
Eric hopped into his dropship (which, if you must know, was also stored carefully in his backpack) and invited the students to come aboard.
They were out cruising the strip when an incredibly smart and good-looking young man that would remain nameless if I didn't call him Brandon (the author of this comic, then) suddenly saw a freakish thing on the horizon.
It turned out to be the great Pip from the great classic Great Expectations. Brandon quickly figured out that they were in "Stupid English Literature Land" (or SELL). The students unloaded from Eric's dropship with utmost speed.
The students quickly surrounded the poor, poor Pip to prevent any means of escape and demanded his lunch money.
I mean, they just stood there. Yeah.
Eric's dropship used its Super-Hyperdrive-Digivolve-Magic-Power to transform into a wraith. Watch the transformation unfold before your very eyes:
Magic, I tell you.
With all escape routes blocked, Pip had no choice but to sit there and mumble "purplepurplepurple" repeadedly until Eric's wraith finished him off.
Without warning, Ms. Teacher's form appeared out of thin air. It was obvious that her bookmark was giving her special powers.
(At this point, I'm sure you're wondering where the rest of the students are. If you find out, tell me, would ya?)
Ms. Teacher, with a blinding flash of light, changed into a hideous beast (well, more hideous than before):
A battle ensued.
Yes, that's Ms. Anti-Plagiarism herself, using the best line in the entire Goldeneye movie.
Eric felt that this battle would never end. But then he noticed and pointed out something very obvious and no less than a death blow to any self-respecting English teacher-demon-thing:
When you're an English teacher that isn't even using AOL at the time a misspelling really hurts.
And that was the end of that.