paul.deLeeuw.Columns

Rap Music
AKA: The Sound and the Gayness

Okay, come on now. It isn't really music. Is it? Think about it.

Technically, the background stuff is music. Assuming it's the kind of rap with what's known in the musical world as a "beat." Yeah, things played on the drum, piano, guitar, etc., those things make music. Even the people singing. Even when the rap 'artist' sings. That's music.

But rythmic talking isn't music. If it were, you might be able to consider Shakespeare as music. Iambic Pentameter, BIATCH!
('Twas that wit' ma wenches 'n wit' ma ho's
I did writ this intelligent a' prose)

Here's a little written SAT question for you:

23. Rapping is to singing as ______________ is to trumpeting;
    A. Belching
    B. Farting
    C. Queefing
    D. All of the above

The correct answer is D. For some reason, this question was rejected when I submitted it to the SAT Board of Directors. I think it was answer C that did me in. (And if you don't know what a queef is... let's just say it's a fart only girls can make. Well, and hermaphrodites. In fact if you're a guy, trying can be painful. Okay, too much.)

But I digress. Seriously, though, comparing rap to singing is like comparing my columns to Falkner. Sure they've got their similarities (as I write this column from three other points of view, including Forrest Gump's), but I wouldn't consider this crap 'literature.'

Now, sometimes I have enjoyed 'the classics' from such greats as Dr. Dre, DMX, Eminem, and maybe even a little (very little) Jay-Z. But only the songs in which they display some talent, and only on a limited basis, especially since WSNX plays crap before and after their songs.

Well, I could go on for hours, but I'll stop there, before I even get started on Nelly. Until next time, if you find yourself listening to 104.5, scan back to 104.1. It's a station I like to call NPR.