jokes
*some jokes taken from Amazing Jokes.com
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison supper. He
                 knows his kids are fussy eaters, won't eat it if they know what it is – so does not tell them
                 His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner?"
                 "You'll see", says his dad. They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking what they're
                 eating.
                 "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint: Its what your mother sometimes calls me."
                 The girl suddenly screams at her little brother, "Spit it out! It's asshole!"

Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think atleast one of them would have seen it.


Clyde decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company
                 (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning
                 Clyde
                 "Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" asked the lawyer.
                 Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into
                 the..."
                 "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you or did you not
                 say 'I'm fine' at the scene of the accident?"
                 Clyde said, "Well, yes, but I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
                 The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of
                 the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several
                 weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply
                 answer the question."
                 By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear
                 what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."
                 Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, like I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite
                 mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran
                 the stop sign> and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was
                 thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old
                 Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
                 "About that time a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and
                 groaning so he went over to her. "After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between
                 the eyes.
                 "Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me and said, 'And,
                 how are you feeling?'"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the
                 other, "Windy, isn't it?"
                 "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
                 And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."