Chief Medical Officer's Log, April 17, 2009 - 2150 hours

    Completed a mission today, nothing to report.  Fox Squadron, Corporal M. Sterling, Lieutenant JG S. Montgomery and myself involved.  Went in, got out, dealt with the casualties -- severe injuries to Corporal Sterling and Lieutenant Montgomery in this case.  Later, treated Lieutenant S. Randall for broken hands.  Psych evaluations scheduled for Fox Squadron.  Surgeries scheduled for Corporal Sterling and Lieutenant Montgomery.
    Will be staying in sickbay tonight.  Sterling coded after treatment and I want to be on call if something else goes wrong.  I will need to schedule a meeting with Sterling's cousin, Cadet Maximilian Sterling, to brief him on his cousin's condition.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, April 17, 2009 - 2300 hours

    Michael Sterling will never be the same again.  It has become apparent to me that due to incidents today that he has suffered major brain trauma, including, quite possibly, memory loss.  It's possible that I could be wrong, but instincts are telling me I'm not.  I don't know how I'm going to tell his cousin -- insofar as I know, Max Sterling is Michael's only living family.  Then again, there's a lot I don't know about Skull 23 -- or the former Skull 23, as well might be the case.
    I'm ready to strangle Garrik from Fox Squadron.  Really, could anyone be so neurotic?  I'm still trying to figure out how he became a fighter pilot.  His is one psych eval I'll pay a whole helluva lot of attention to.
    I worry about Steve Randall -- Fox Leader.  His stress levels definitely seem to be higher than mine.  He came in tonight with two broken hands -- most of the fingers in pretty bad shape.  He won't be flying for a while, to say the least.  Maybe it'll do him good.  Then again, that also leaves Lucky Solvis in charge.  Hopefully he'll deal better with the stresses of command.
    Note to self: Invite Steve over for another drink sooner rather than later -- maybe after Michael's stabilized.
    Seth Montgomery is going to need one of his shoulders and arms completely replaced.  I know that there must be something somewhere that's an alternative, but his commanding officers are insistent -- they need him back on the line ASAP.  What can we do, really?  At least I've managed to convince him and our surgeon that it's a better idea to just repair the broken bone and the cartilage damage in his right arm rather than do a double replacement.
    Damn.  It's been a long day.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, May 11, 2009 - 0500 hours

    Pulling shift in full dress today -- graduation of new cadets into the corps and I have to attend.
    Caseload remains the same.  Michael Sterling is still my major case that I'm focused on, in addition to emergency cases that come through.
    Psych evals were yesterday.  Very little that was unexpected, other than people not knowing various presidents, et alia.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, May 11, 2009 - 0507 hours

    Children.  I have to deal with children today.  Rookies will be graduating into the main body of the ship's forces.  I'll be there, at graduation, in full dress uniform.  I don't really mind being in full dress -- mine's not uncomfortable, and it's not like I have to wear a skirt or anything, so I have full freedom of motion there.
    I took it out of its bag today and I realized exactly how long it's been since I wore it.  I polished my gold and my shoes -- they needed it -- and then checked the creases before I tried to put it on.  It still fits like a glove.
    I'm worried.  I'm worried about everything.  That's not anything new, just a reiteration.  We'll reach Saturn in three days.  I'm not looking forward to sitting out in space, in a shuttlecraft, to rescue pilots.  Definitely not looking forward to it -- I'm more useful in sickbay, but I won't argue the point with Captain Gloval -- not my place, really.  So I'll do as I'm told and hope against hope for the best.
    I need to get going.  I'm late for jogging with Seth.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, Supplemental - May 11, 2009

    Michael Sterling's mental state seems to be of more concern than I had previously anticipated.  He no longer "plays well with others" as he used to, although with the help of one Cadet Maximilian Sterling, he seems to have gotten over his aversion to servicemen and women in uniform.  I will have to make it a point to rely on Cadet Sterling's recommendations regarding his cousin.  It is my opinion that Cadet Sterling will make a fine officer someday.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, May 12, 2009 - 0005 hours

    I'm deeply worried about Mike Sterling -- deeply worried.  There seems to have been a major personality shift accompanying his amnesia, and I find this deeply distressing, especially now that he's been transferred to Fox Squadron.  Steve just doesn't need the stress, and I don't want to see Michael lose his wings...then again, at this point, I think I'd give just about anything to get the old Mike Sterling back, overactive libido and all.  Damn.  I can't believe I just admitted that.  Strange, though, that sometimes you don't really realize that something wasn't as annoying as you thought it was until it stops, and the absence of it drives you even more crazy than the original act ever did.  I don't know.  Perhaps it's just because it's a constant reminder of my own failures that it bothers me so.  This never should have happened to him.  It's all my fault.  And right now, there's really not much I can do about it at all.  I just wish there was.
    I'm under orders now to watch him, not that I wasn't doing it already.  I hope he gets better, I really do.  I'm going to talk to Max.  He's been such a help with Michael recently -- maybe he knows what's at the root of this problem, too.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, May 13, 2009 - 0430 hours

    It's fixed, it's done.  Michael Sterling, much to my relief, is back to normal -- or what passes for normal for him, anyway.  I've learned a lot of things about him and about myself tonight -- or this morning, as it were.  I guess all I needed to give to get the old Mike Sterling back was a little bit of time and effort -- and losing a little sleep.  Max was quite a help with matters, but Michael really did most of the hard part early this morning.  It's amazing what a little talking will do.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, May 14, 2009 - 0040 hours

    As of midnight, Garrik Omani of Fox Squadron was section nined out of the Robotech Defense Forces.  He was tried in courts martial on several counts and was found guilty of most.  As such, he lost his wings and has now become a civilian.  I was called to testify on the behalf of the prosecution and did my duty on the stand.
    There were no medical emergencies today.  I spent my time outside of the courtroom reading up on various new techniques and such, as I've spent the past several days.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, May 14, 2009 - 0050 hours

    Fox Squadron, at my request, will be acting as my escort for the mission at Saturn, and it appears that Seth Montgomery will be my pilot, also as per request.  It's going to be a very messy day, and inside of five hours, I need to be up and be getting ready for a briefing inside of six.
    But for some reason, I cannot bring myself to sleep just yet.  There are so many thoughts raging in my head.  I had dinner with Seth and Michael tonight, and spent some time with Michael afterwards.  Perhaps there's more to him than I always thought there was.  Well, for certain there is, but I believe my knowledge has only begun to scratch the surface of who he really is.  I wonder, though...will I ever truly have the chance to know him as well as I think both of us would like?
    No time for my idle wonderings.  I have to be up inside of five hours, and I should at least try to get some sleep.  Saturn will be messy enough as it is, of this I'm certain.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, supplemental - May 14, 2009

    Fox Squadron and my medical shuttle survived the Battle of Saturn with minimal losses.  A ship-wide power outage during another operation cost two good people their lives.  Chief medical officer was on the bridge at the time of the outage.  Recommendation to command staff not to remove chief medical officer from sickbay during combat situations.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, Supplemental - May 14, 2009

    I found out today that Alexis has been aboard ship the entire time.  She saved my life and the lives of all those aboard my shuttle during the Battle of Saturn, but because her attitude is so like mine, she's been transferred out of Skull Squadron to Fox.  Seems to me that Roy tosses all of his problem children at Steve.
    Poor Steve.
    I saw Michael for a grand total of about twenty minutes today.  If there's one thing that irks, me, it's that.  Well, there's more than that to irk me, but that was just the icing on the cake.
    So.  Back to Lex.  Turns out that she was part of the flight crews from the Prometheus, which explains why I never knew she'd joined up.  Then again, with the nice stack of back-mail sitting in a drawer, it's no wonder I didn't know.  That was probably what the unopened letter from her mother was supposed to tell me.  Lex has, very quickly, started up a feud with Solvis, Fox XO.  This whole mess is going to get very interesting -- or very violent -- very fast.
    Poor Steve.
    Ah well.  I suppose things can't get much more complicated.  At least...I hope they can't.  I let Lex take my room tonight, considering that she's been assigned Garik's quarters, and they haven't been cleaned out yet, and her things haven't arrived yet.  So she's sleeping in my quarters tonight while I'm on my couch in my office.  Business as usual around here.
    Lost two today.  Damned power outages...if we hadn't lost power to absolutely everything, someone's head would have rolled for not listening to my request regarding priority to sickbay.  CS also has to stop dragging me out of sickbay during combat situations.  Dammit, I know I'm the only combat medtech they've got, but my place is in sickbay, saving lives there, not sitting on the bridge watching pilots' vital signs.  I've trained someone else to do that.
    Come to think of it, where was he today? 

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, May 17, 2009 - 0800 hours

    Corporal Sterling and Commander Montgomery have come down sick with a major bacterial infection.  I have confined them to quarters and quarantined them for the time being until the illness runs its course and they are fit to be released.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, May 21, 2009 - 1700 hours

    Commander Montgomery has broken his arm and leg in an unfortunate accident on an undisclosed deck.  According to Corporal Sterling, who brought him in, Montgomery was sleepwalking when the incident occurred.  Montgomery has been treated for his broken leg and arm and released.
    Logged a request with Command that priority power be routed to sickbay during emergency situations.  My staff and I cannot be expected to save lives if our equipment continually dies on us.  This is fact, not supposition.
    There has been a minor outbreak of the common cold aboard ship.  There is little that can be done for it other than advise vitamin C and bedrest.  And chicken soup.  Large amounts of chicken soup.
    The restaurants in Macross City have been advised.
    I have been assigned additional duties by Commander Lisa Hayes.  They are of little consequence, but deserve notation here.
    The day has not been eventful.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, May 21, 2009 - 1742 hours

    I had a nice chat with Lisa today over a meal regarding some things.  She'd mentioned wanting to talk to me the other day, so in order to keep her from killing Rick Hunter, I pulled her away from the usual table to another one so she and I could have our talk.  Turns out that it was partially about my bedside manner -- she reminded me that being a doctor called the Ice Bitch isn't always such a good thing.  I've promised her I'll try to change that, but I don't know how much good I'll be able to do in that regard.
    We've had an unseasonable outbreak of the common cold aboard ship.  I suppose it doesn't surprise me all that much -- it was only a matter of time before something such as this came up.
    I'm waiting for the flu epidemic I know must be coming.  If we've got the common cold running around, there must be a flu virus running around, too.  It's only a matter of time, just like everything else.
    When will the shit hit the fan again?  Damned if I know.

 

<DATA FOR PERIOD 05.22.09-10.17.09 LOST / CLASSIFIED>

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, October 18, 2009 - 1934 hours

    Today was the Battle of Mars.  I have to say that I didn't see much of the action as I was hard at work in sickbay dealing with wounded and a unique situation that is probably classified at the highest levels.  Several fatalities, most of those dead on arrival.  We lost one in surgery, two more before we could get them there.  The rest of the injuries have been treated and most of the patients released.
    Captain Montgomery is nearly ready to take his exams to win his MD.  I will have to arrange them.
    Commander Hayes has suffered some emotional trauma as a result of Mars.  She is being kept under observation.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, October 19, 2009 - 2358 hours

    It's been almost a day and it's only just now that I can finally articulate what's happened.  I don't dare put it into my official logs yet because I don't know how to phrase it without sounding emotional about it.
    Early this morning, the SDF-1 was attacked by alien raiders.  During the debacle, Colonel Michael Sterling's V-T was hit and destroyed by what is described as one of the "command pods" of the alien forces.  I almost lost one of the closest friends I have in a goddamned accident -- and then I wasn't allowed into surgery to assist.  It's...a little frustrating, and definitely upsetting.
    Michael lived, thank God, and the abrupt departure of my surgeon after the procedure has prompted me to believe that said surgeon and I need to have a brief discussion -- usually, you'll brief the people waiting to hear about the condition of patients.  He left.  Whether Seth had come to brief me and Lieutenant John "Lucky" Solvis, a squadron-mate of Michael's, on his condition was irrelevant.  It's not his job -- it was something Seth was doing as a favor to me, as a friend and a colleague.  The behavior of our surgeon was unacceptable and hopefully will be dealt with at the earliest convenience.  I will be noting this breach in his personal record.
    I realize now that the situation I ran into this morning was why I held myself at such distance from most other individuals.  I also realize now, though, especially after talking with Lisa and Solvis, that I can't continue to push people away forever.  One of these days I'm going to have to stop being afraid of getting close to people.  I'm not sure if this realization is a step in the right direction or what.  Only time, I suppose, will tell.  I just hope it's not too late.
    If I hadn't been so worried and upset this morning, maybe I would have been happier to see Lisa out of her room, where she'd exiled herself.  When I tried to talk to her at her quarters, she punched me and told me to get out -- I of course didn't until I'd made sure she was all right.  I was glad for the company, at least, today, and I think she was happy to have someone to talk to -- I was actually listening, my mind was just elsewhere at the same time.  It's hard to focus when you know that someone you care about very much is in more mortal danger than usual.
    See, usually, Fox Squadron comes home without a scratch on their bodies -- sometimes their veritechs are in shambles, but they're usually all fine.  This time...it was a mess.  That's the only way to describe it.
    I was on the hangar deck when everything happened.  I'd come down to head up the team of medtechs on the hangar deck, in case we had some crashes on landing or some such, like sometimes happens.  Thank heavens I was down there this time -- I don't know if he'd have made it up to sickbay if I hadn't been -- but who can be sure?  Natalya -- the head tech for Fox Squadron -- and I were playing cards and sharing a pot of coffee during the combat situation and listening to the comm chatter on vox.  It wasn't until we'd gotten all the other V-Ts from Fox in that we realized Sterling was missing.  About half the squadron immediately re-launched and they managed to find him, somehow -- I'll never know how, but I'm so grateful they did find him...and they brought him back.  Damn, was he a mess.  I didn't know where to start.
    When we did get him up to sickbay, I got sent to my office, banned from surgery because of my "emotional state."  I guess I wasn't in much shape to be in there.  Then again, Seth probably wasn't, either, but he hides it better.  I don't think he'd like to admit it, but I think he and Michael Sterling are better friends than they know.  At least, I hope they are.  Sometimes, I'm not the best person at reading these things, but that may be due to my extremely limited experience with interpersonal relationships.
    John Solvis apparently followed the medical team up to sickbay and waited outside for hours, waiting for word, before I found him out in the corridor.  He sat with me for a few hours after that.  I passed out for about an hour from sheer exhaustion before waking up to him being a little worried -- I guess I must've collapsed or something.  It had already been a long day -- I hadn't slept since 0430 on October 18, and that was only a few hours' rest to begin with.  Solvis stayed with me until Sterling regained consciousness and left after speaking with him regarding some personal matters.
    Solvis...he's a nice guy.  A little distant, I guess, but then, so am I.  So are all of us, in our own little way.  I was glad to have him with me while I was waiting for word on Colonel Sterling.  It was...quite a relief to have someone who was his friend with me at the time.  The rest of Fox Squadron had to attend to other duties at the time -- besides, Solvis is Sterling's wingman, so it only seemed proper that he be the one to keep vigil with me.  The rest of them, they'd had long, rough days, and I don't blame them for not wanting to be around sickbay while Sterling's life hung in the balance.  I don't think anyone wanted to be there that night, knowing what was going on.
    I don't blame them.
    Maybe eventually I'll find a way to relate everything in my official log.  I'm not sure, though.  I don't think I'm sure of much anymore.  The fragility of life has finally struck me, for the first time in seven years of practicing medicine.  It's never really struck me like this before.  As horrible as this all was, it was quite a learning experience.
    It's also something I hope never to go through again.  Personal hells are never any fun.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, December 15, 2009 - 1700 hours

    Commodore Trevor MacGhaowyn was pronounced dead on arrival in sickbay today.  He had suffered a massive heart attack, which killed him.  An autopsy to confirm this was performed.  No word yet on memorial services.
    Miss Macross competition today, leaving me short-staffed.  Not much happened.  Richard Hunter came in suffering from a minor concussion after a patrol mishap.  Fox Leader was also examined for injuries.
    Other than the death of our Intelligence chief, the day was quiet.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, December 16, 2009 - 1900 hours

    Bookie came in late last night suffering from undisclosed injuries.  File appended.
    We have lost Commander Lisa Hayes and Vermillion Team during a skirmish.  No word on their survival.
    Multiple injures to ship's staff during skirmish.  Mostly minor injuries reported among survivors.
    May take some personal time soon.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, December 16, 2009 - 1907 hours

    It's just been one of those days.  There's no other way to describe it.  There's been a lot of good mixed with bad today, and I can't say whether or not everything balances out.
    Michael asked me to marry him today, with most of Fox Squadron plus Natalya present.  My answer was a no-brainer.
    It's almost nice not to have to hide everything anymore -- I mean, it's not a great thing that the Commodore died, but it does mean that Michael and I don't live in fear of him using one of us against the other anymore.  We can actually be public about our relationship rather than continue to be discreet -- or as discreet as we've proven to be.
    The proposal, I think, though, was probably the single bright spot.  We've lost Lisa and Vermillion Team -- we don't know if they're alive or dead, and I think it won't be long before the crew gives up on them.  I don't want to -- I could Lisa among my few friends, Rick's a nice guy, and Max...Max is my fiancé's cousin.  Of course I wouldn't want to see anything happen to him.  I owe him a little too much.
    I think they're all right.  Then again, very rarely do people actually listen to me when I say something like that.  I guess most don't really have a reason to believe a damned word I say, but I really do think that it'll all turn out as it was meant to.  I really do.
    I just hope they come home in time to come to a wedding.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Log, January 3, 2010 - 0640 hours

    I have been remiss in my additions to my log of late, partially due to nothing happening and again due to everything happening all at once.  Commander Hayes and Vermillion Team have returned to the SDF-1 with little in the way of harm done to them.  Their return was a source of hope as well as problems for our self-contained community aboard ship.
    We are set to arrive at Luna soon.
    I have not taken personal time yet.  I do not know when I will.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, January 3, 2010 - 1430 hours

    Sometimes, life just gets in the way.
    I haven't set down much in this chronicle of mine of late -- been doing too much, I suppose, or too little in regards to remarkable things.  Vermillion Team made it back safe, along with Lisa.  That was a relief and a half, despite a certain someone's less-than-joyous greeting of a certain family member returned from the grave.  Ah well.  We've moved beyond that.
    My twenty-first birthday has come and gone -- the first that has passed without a call from my parents to wish me a happy birthday.  Once upon a time, I could have said the same about a message from my brothers, but that time passed long ago.
    I've learned much from my Christmas gift, sufficient to say.  Now all that remains is figuring out how to get through to people who have been taught for years to think of nothing but hatred for you.  I hope I can do it.  Our daughter doesn't deserve to grow up not knowing the loving brothers I once knew -- I don't deserve to have to forget them, and those boys whom I loved so much don't deserve to be buried or forgotten.
    I'll find a way to make everything right.  I have no other choice.  Michael feels differently, but then again, they're not his brothers.  They're mine.
    He's lucky.  His brother just didn't know him for family until recently.  Me, I can't live knowing that somehow, some way, my brothers, who I grew up with and I love with all of my heart, have been forced to hate me.
    I can't live with that.

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, March 4, 2010 - 0600 hours

    I cannot believe what my brother has become.  He's not the boy I knew, not in the least.  I can't believe it.
    We're due to land on Earth today.  Maybe we already have, I don't know.  I haven't left my office since last night, since everything happened at Copernicus.  Goddamn.  Goddamn.  I can't believe it all.  I just can't.
    How could they be so evil?  How could it be in them?  I just don't understand.
    They know about the baby.  They said they'll be back for her.  I can't let them have her.

 

<Records for March 2010 through March 2011 lost/classified>

 

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, April 5, 2011 - 0400 hours

    It's late, and I know it.  A lot of stuff happened yesterday, including Michael's cousin getting married.  That was interesting, to say the least.  I can note here that she's Zentraedi, since it's common knowledge.  I hope she and Max are happy.
    I suppose it's more early than late.  I have a shift in another two hours, jogging in another hour.  Michael is still asleep and Roiya...well, she's amusing herself.  I know that I will be prescribing massive amounts of hangover medication when I do get in this morning, what with last night's celebration and all.  I hope there wasn't rioting.  Rioting makes my head hurt, especially when it involves Lynn Kyle -- the sheer thought of the man, of what he did to my little sister, makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn.  I can't think about it.  I can't think about any of it, any of what was done to them anymore.
    But I dwell on it, more and more every day, as the harsh realizations of this war strike me.  There is not much for me in this world, little more than my family and a handful of people whom I call my friends. I need everyone that I have.
    As time moves on, I begin to wonder if the visions of my mind's eye will ever come to pass.  I wonder, but I know that the odds are not good.  Toronto confirmed that.
    It's hard to believe that it was so long ago -- almost a year, a year next month.  The screams still echo in my mind, in my heart.  I should have been able to stop it...but I was too late.  I'm always too late.  I was too late for Chicago, too late for Toronto.  I fear that I'll be too late for the world.

 

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