| Fifth-grade Dating |
Home |
Awesome Movie Plot | Pet Folllies |
| Great
Big Bathroom Reader |
Guide
to On-Campus Dating |
Fortune Cookie | Really Bad Trends |
The other day I was talking
to my sister. Relax guys, she is only 13. Anyway, she told me about a writing
assignment that she had to do for her 8th grade English class.
The assignment was to write an essay about a musician that she felt would
make a good teacher. Man, I know it has been a long time since I have been
in school, but grade school homework is really cool! Later that day I began
thinking about who I would chose to write about. I went though a few candidates,
but I happened upon the conclusion that Madonna would make an excellent educator
for todays youth.
I'm not sure whether our parents have any idea about
how our society has changed since they were our age. Back then, they had
to worry about making their 8 o'clock curfew, whether that chocolate bar
would give them acne, or worst of all, how they would avoid frostbite walking
barefoot uphill in the snow every morning to get to school. Today, our youth
has much more advanced problems and we don't need some small, bald guy with
a comb-over teaching us about how our country was founded. We need a popular
sex symbol teaching us how our country was founded (or any other subject
they would need her to teach). I know what you are thinking, Madonna is not
the right musician for teaching children. Someone wholesome like Neil Diamond
would do a much better job at giving inspiration and teaching good moral
values. Its true ol' buddy Neil would do a good job, but Madonna has him
beat where it counts: she is was an international sex symbol.
Madonna has done everything and everyone...I mean...yeah,
I guess I mean everyone. She has tried everything children are pressured into
trying and she can tell them about why not to do it. Even teaching them simple
rules would be very easy. All Madonna would have to do is appeal to what
this generation of kids is wanting in life. Like if there is a kid chewing
gum in class, she could simply say, "You know, I have had a lot of gum in
my time, but not chewing it in class helped me become an international sex
symbol." And right away, she would have their attention and respect, and you
know as well as I do, that kid is not gonna be chewing gum any more. What
if kids are talking and interrupting class? Then she can just say, "I never
talked in the back of the class when I was in school because it would have
kept me from becoming an international sex symbol." And ta-da, those kids
are gonna shut-up. If there is a kid sleeping in class, she can just poke
them with her pointy boob things and I guarantee that she would have their
immediate attention.
In conclusion, Madonna would be an excellent teacher
for the following reasons: 1) She is an international sex symbol, 2) She
can set a good example with todays youth, and 3) She has pointy boobs, which
are always a good thing.