3-17-2002

it's 5:30 in the morning, and i'm working on this... pretty pathetic, huh?  well, i looked over my old site, and i discovered, "hey, this doesn't represent me!  it's too happy and too girly."  thus, in protest of myself, i decided to make a serious site.. and voila, here is my paradox...  i might just put this on that same site too and give people a choice of which one they want to go to... yep.. well, if this disturbs you, go to my other site.. for the rest, enjoy =þ

3-17-2002

ahhhh.. can't stop working on this site until i'm done!  that's the bad thing about me.. i'm a perfectionist.. don't like to leave things half-baked.  hehe.. anyway.. i'm starting to work on my own graphics so i don't steal other people's stuff... i got the awesome background from my good friend lukasz.. go to his site at http://www.dreamscapeprod.com/lukasz.  yep.. well, off to work some more... i'm trying to add some "substance"

3-17-2002

another entry today... i've already gotten feedback about this website, although i just put it up like 6 hours ago... apparently one of my "friends" doesn't like it.. he asked, "why is it all black?" with that certain tone to it... it was like he was saying, "what is up with you maysee?  did some demon possess you?  aren't you supposed to be happy all the time?"  blah blah blah.. hehe.. i love saying that.  NO i am not happy all the time, and NO i will not change my site to make you feel less disturbed... i said at the home page that if you didn't want to see this side of me, go to my happy site.. geez... the density of some people.  yes.. well, my other site was supposed to be my retort to the world, but all it did was conform to what people thought of me.. the only true parts were the thoughts and pics page.  well, you know what?  i'm fed up with people thinking i'm happy, laid-back etc... I AM NOT JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE, and i detest people who will only speak to me after seeing my pic, thinking i'm some kind of hoe because of the way i look.  so what if a person who reads this doesn't like what i say, or doesn't like me.... i'm done with being what you want me to be.. it's called growing up...

3-17-2002

whoa.. fourth entry.. i'm on a roll.  anyway.. yeah.. i keep on revising myself... first off, i'm not a stuckup brat, and i don't think i look that good either, which could be perceived in the previous entry.. hehe.  i'm just on a quest to point out the monotony and degradation of society as i see it...

3-20-2002

i hate school... hehe.. that's sorta funny.. i'm the valedictorian, and i hate school.  i wish that it would just crumble to the ground, although it really wouldn't matter, cuz i'm graduating this year.  hate the system... what good is it for but to jail kids in legally?  you know, many of the exalted literary figures were on drugs, high, or drunk while they were writing, and they're in the english hall of fame for literature.. and then they try to confine our minds with thoughts like, "if you have a degree, you'll be just as good as those authors."  ha!  yeah right.. they say that only cuz it wouldn't be politically correct, and cuz universities want to suck out all the money they can from you, although public univs get government funding... stupid bastards.. then that money gets funneled back into the government, so they can make an even larger deficit by sending soldiers abroad to shoot anything or anybody with a turban.  yeah.. the system is all screwed up... i don't condone the use of drugs or alcohol, mind you, but it's better to be intoxicated and be stupid than to have a clear mind and be just as equally dumb, such as the politicians and such in society...

3-23-2002

just woke up at 7:30 at night.. hehe.. that's what saturdays are for - sleeping and avoiding people.  well.. i added in the POD "Youth of the Nation" song... if you don't like it, use common sense and turn down your speakers.. don't complain to me.  i'll prolly give people a choice though, just so i can say i uphold freedom of speech and all that good stuff, one of the only things that americans got right for once.  i'll leave with a great comic... click on the thumbnail

3-27-2002

no thought for today.. only... some people are really stupid, especially the ones who think they're smart... leave you with a pic

4-11-2002

haven't written in here for a long time.. well, not too long.  yeah.. well, my friend pierre died a week ago.. it's sorta hard to concentrate on stuff when something like that happens, you know?  but.. i still go on in life, like i'm supposed to.. people don't even know that i'm perturbed.. they think i'm "strong".. nothing ever touches super maysee.  what a load of BS..

4-13-2002

so incredibly bored right now and i have nothing to do.. except hw.  my english teacher is crazy.. he's making us do 4 essays a week, and it's almost the end of the year... who says senior year is the easiest?  i'm just going through the motions.. much of what life is.  i wish my troubles weren't always school related.. it would make life just a little more interesting and worthwhile