5-21-01:

i'm actually bored out of my mind, which is why i'm inspired to do this.  well...my webpage is up and operational as of today.  i was gonna publish it a couple of weeks ago, but i've been busy with church and stuff.  has anyone other than me noticed how hypocritical those people are?  i go to an old folks' church, and every little thing i do is never good enough for them.  if i play the piano, i'm playing it too loud, or too fast, or something like that.  then, my skirt is too short, too long, so now i look like i'm jewish.. what is wrong with these people?  they should be happy that i'm wearing the damn skirt in the first place, or even participating in church.  sometimes i want to just punch the living crap out of them, but no.. that's not lady-like or "asian" like.  well, screw that... hehe.. well, that's my lil journal entry for today.  sorry guys.. i'm not always "peaches 'n' cream" all the time

5-22-01:

hehe.. i have nothing to do again.. as usual.  so, might as well write another entry.  today was the last real day of school for seniors.  it's sad.. just imagine.. that'll be me next year.  oh well.. i took my government final exam early with the seniors.. i got an A!  i'm so ecstatic.. i guess my sister's remark about me being a 4.0 gpa crackhead is still true.  i just want everything done and over with, but there are so many things that i want to do before i go out in the real world.. like, go rock climbing in british columbia again, or go star-gazing, or finally go out on a date for the first time!  lol.. i know..that sounds really girly.. i have my moments.  some people say that by the way i look, they'd think that i would have already "played" the field, but i'm not even on the bench.. i'm in the bleachers, shouting at people what to do.  my friends come to me for advice cuz i'm the one with the "sensible" head (i don't know where they got that idea from), but if i were put in their situations and relationships, i wouldn't have any idea of what i should do.  lol.. look at me.. writing down the depths of my soul on a webpage to total strangers, yet i don't have the courage to tell my close friends in person.  hehe.. ah well.. life goes on.  i should go on before i "write an essay"... Romel.. if you see this, you know what i'm talkin' about =)  luv ya!

5-23-01:

we got our yearbooks today.. after a week delay.  i was scrambling to get all the seniors to sign my yearbook, but i didn't succeed in doing so because i had to go to an elementary school to help with their field day.  ah field day.. brings back old memories - of me always being the smallest one because i was 2 years younger than everybody else, of me not getting a ribbon, except maybe in dart throwing.. maybe it's because of that traumatic experience that i always have good aim when i'm mad.. hmm.. something to contemplate.  anyway.. some of those 6th graders were even larger than i am!  hehe.. it puts me to shame, but oh well.  i'm not about to put on some 7 inch stilettos to gain height.. i'd rather wear my running shoes and be a midget than put myself through that pain.  anywayz.. i'm volunteering again at another elementary school tomorrow.. oh joy.  i'm being sarcastic if you haven't realized it yet.  don't get me wrong.. i love kids, but sometimes they wear my patience out so thin that my temper starts flaring up, and that is really scary.  hehe.. you don't want to see me when i'm pissed.  also.. i want the week to be over so i can go to toronto for memorial weekend.  i can't wait!  i've lived there my entire life, until i moved to michigan 2 years ago, so toronto is home to me.  plus, i get to see all my friends again, and they are truly my friends, unlike the people here who are "friends".  i can't stand the people here sometimes.. especially the girls.  they are so snobby, and talk about "hot boys", and talk about themselves mainly.  why is it that they think that they're "hot" or "beautiful" when they really aren't?  geez.. i'm not saying that i'm better than any of them, but come on now.. there's more to life than just you and hot guys.. eventually everybody's gonna be old and wrinkly and ugly.. might as well make your personality and character presentable now, right?  obviously those other girls don't agree with me.. gawking over the yearbook pictures and gushing on how perfect their hair and makeup was that day.  in the back of my mind, i think, "if it took that much gook in your hair and on your face to make you look cute, how terrible are you gonna look without it?"  i don't see anything wrong with that stuff, but when a girl keeps putting another layer of makeup on her face every 5 minutes, don't you think she's a tad self-obsessed there?  hehe.. well, i'm prolly gonna get some backlash from my "friends" that read this, and they'll try to kick me out of their social circle cuz of my "warped" thinking.  oh well.. that won't be a terrible loss.. aren't you just loving the glimpse into my life?  hehe.. keep smilin' =)

5-24-01:

i'm ready to go to toronto!  hehe..i can't wait..we're leaving at maybe six in the morning.  my parents invited another family to come along with us, and so i'll probably be forced to entertain them.  oh well.. hehe.. life goes on.  well, i got more people to sign my yearbook.. my friend atalie wrote the sweetest thing.. how is it that people think that i'm smart, cute or funny?  i really don't see how either of them could be true, especially this year.  i personally think i've gotten a whole lot meaner, blunt, and rude.  obviously people don't see me like that though.  i never realized how many people think that i have a lot of intelligence.. i only do my work.  there's nothing amazing about that.  hehe.. the only reason why i try to get a's in my classes is so that i don't have to take my final exams.  i really am a lazy procrastinating bum.. hehe.  well, i hafta go pack for my wonderful vacation.. bye =)

5-29-01

i came back from toronto yesterday.. i had the greatest time.  isn't it amazing how you don't know what you have until you lose it?  all my friends, the places, and even the road rage in toronto and pollution.. i miss it all.  only my memories are able to sustain me.  ah well.. life goes on, right?  at least i have memories of my canadian life and of my great friends.  i don't want to write anything here, cuz my friend told me that all i'm writing is a "bunch of shit".  well, you know what?  i'm proud of this shit, and if you don't like it, that's your freakin' problem.  hehe.. i'm sorta in a weird mood cuz i hardly got any sleep on the weekend cuz i was out partying!  so, i think i'm gonna take a nap...

5-31-01

graduation's tonight.. and i am so pissed.  you'd think that i'd be happy and all that stuff, cuz when the seniors graduate, i'm officially a senior.. but no.  i am so incredibly upset that i just want to.... i dunno, but i want to do something.  ok.. this is what happened.  i was supposed to play pomp and circumstance on the piano for the senior procession with the orchestra and part of the band.  but, when i arrived at rehearsal this morning, my band teacher took me aside and said, "Mr. Bailey (the principal) wants someone else to play the piano".. something along those lines.  he wanted the choir director to play the piano instead of me.  don't get me wrong.. i love the choir director, and she's a great pianist.  but, how can you screw me over like this on the day of graduation, when i've been going to practice for the past 2 weeks??  he prolly thinks that just cuz i'm a student, i can't play as well as her.  he's never even heard me play before!  and.. i don't care if i say his name.. i hope somebody stalks him.. SIDNEY BAILEY.  somebody can take out a hit on him... he was pissing everybody else off in rehearsal today, even the teachers.  i wish he never came to my school this year.. frickin pumpkin head with a fat ass.. his blubber probably blocks the oxygen from going into his brain.  well.. whatever.. he can frickin kiss my asian ass.. he's a freakin' racist.  and.. he's mad that i'm one of the valedictorians receiving the torch of knowledge tonight.  whatever.. hehe.. don't you just hate when that happens?